Pounding the Pavement

The company I work for has been bought out recently and no one really knows what is going to happen to us but were pretty sure that our jobs will go any week now. Which sucks cause I just got this flippin job, got comfortable and now I have to go out and start the job search all over again. It is SO not easy.

Well being the wonderful and skilled artist/graphic designer that I am I keep getting rejection letter after rejection letter. I'm starting to feel real bad about myself because no one wants me. Then low and behold I get an email from the local TV station. They want me, the really WANT ME! Well they really want me to fill out the application and bring it to the station with samples of my work, which I did today.

So I pull on my professional clothes and head down to the station. After parking the car, I adjust my shirt, square my shoulders and walk inside the building. The receptionist greets me, I return the greeting and hand her the envelope containing the goods. We exchange idle chit-chat for a moment then I bid her adieux, turn on my heal and push open the door which catches the rug and slams me face first. As I back away from the door I hear the receptionist say behind me "other door" I mumble thanks and head out the other door.

Yep, I think I'll get the job...

Absolutes and Recruits

Today I acquired a new recruit on my veganised gravy train. Mac, one of my best friends since high school and the most stubborn person I know, has recently been diagnosed as border-line type two diabetic. This is due to environment and eating habits. Type two diabetes can be reversed but it takes a tremendous amount of changes in eating habits, life style and all sorts of will power. That is if you go by the Dr. recommended reversal diet that is not even vegetarian. I've been nudging her with documentation about how a vegan diet is proven to reverse type two diabetes, she can eat all she wants with no horrible after effects (except maybe bad gas). 

Mac had decided to join me for her health and hopefully to shed a few unwanted pounds but she is already planting herself firmly in the "I'm absolutely not giving up X!" She still wants her cheese and yogurt, oh and anything with soy activates her gag reflex, literally we are talking Linda Blair syndrome. Which means I get to hear her bitch and complain and the whole time I'm thinking "but you want to reverse this shit right? then what's the flippin problem?!?" Mac has a very different thinking style than I do. I say no cheese tastes as good as fitting into my skinny jeans and no damn yogurt has ever tasted near as good as getting up in the morning feeling like a million bucks. 

I told her to finish the book, were still pressing forward and she can keep her dairy or we can gradually phase it out. She's not totally opposed to phasing it out but she wants her grilled cheese sandwiches and will not be denied damn it. She can get as mad as she wants and I'm still happy cause at least she won't be eating meat. WOOOOT!

I can breath!

I know it's been a bit since my last post, but rest assured I've been sticking to the "Skinny Bitch" diet (as evidence by my empty pocketbook). This is by far the most fulfilling eating plan I've ever been on.  It is truly amazing how in such a short amount of time things that I didn't think I could live without don't even look good anymore. Not to say they won't at some point down the road but I have my vegan substitutes on standby just in case.

This week I've been making my lunches out of the "Vegan Lunch Box" cookbook. I've had the book for a bit but hadn't made anything, until recently. Let me just say, WOW! 

I Heart Jennifer McCann...

Typically I work second shift so my lunch is actually dinner around 7:00p. There's enough time before work to make a lunch out of the book, pack it and enjoy it a few hours later. Today, I made popcorn balls *sigh* my favorite. Yesterday was Savory Autumn Leaf Pies that I had made over the weekend for the equinox and today is pups in a blanket. I forgot how much fun I used to have cooking. Due to the speed of my life cooking took a back seat to fast, cheap and easy -  but NO MORE I say! 

Other than the first few days of "withdrawals" I can say with confidence that this has been a really good week. My sinuses are clearing up, can you believe that? Also my favorite thing is when I feel the need for a snack I get cookies and milk again! (Oat milk and Newman's) num num num! So many foods that I wouldn't let myself eat due to fat I am now eating again with no regard to calorie or fat content (it is so liberating)...just have to watch those ingredients which is WAY easier. 

As of today I still haven't weighed myself (I really don't want to be obsessed with a number) but my pants are baggier so thats got to be a good sign. Either way I feel REAL good...I am in shock and awe.

I could get used to this...

All that anticipation for today, just knowing I was going to be a starved, stupefied, zombie with a splitting head ache and then poof...none of the above. 

I cannot believe my body or that fact that those skinny bitches may be right. This would be day three on the vegan front with zero coffee or caffeine and I actually have energy. To be specific, this morning I got out of bed, took a piss, put my hair in a pony-tail and started cleaning. ME!!! I was halfway through the kitchen when I figured out that not only do I never feel like cleaning but that I hadn't even given it a second thought. Why the hell did I do that? That NEVER happens. On an even spookier note I wasn't even hungry till about 10:30am. Uh, that really never happens, especially when the last time I had eaten was 7:30 the night before. I am shocked.

Now, granted today could be a fluke, a "wild-hair" if you will, but I feel weird in my skin too. I haven't weighed myself but I'm sure the last 3 days hasn't pulled me to far from that 200.0 pounder mark but I feel all light and dancie. Seriously, WTF?!?! This is so so so so not normal for me. 

What if it's actually the fourth day you have to look out for?

How 'bout some casein free soy cheese for my whine???

Yesterday after my millionth trip to the health food store I finally laid hands on barley and spelt flour. I didn't realize that it was kept in a refrigerated case not to mention the people at my local health food store are pretty uppity. They swarm you like your stealing then act like "oh my gawd, so you totally didn't know about dairy?" They have this strange superiority complex about being the worlds best vegan, as they munch on gelatin laced marshmallows. 

Sorry, I'm just a tad bitchy today. My head is pounding for caffeine but fortunately the acute sinus pressure I'm experiencing from the season change is swooping in to help. It doesn't hurt as bad as it did yesterday which is good, but it could also mean that it will knock me the fuck out tomorrow because usually it's the third day you have to look out for, right? Oh, and I'm learning that it hurts worse if I make facial expressions.

Tried to toast some sunflower seeds today and failed miserably. I toasted some millet for my breakfast which worked our real well so I got cocky and went for the sunflower seeds. They pretty much went straight past lightly toasted and onto burned, the ones that were not burned tasted alright but there were only about four. 

My Road to Skinny Bitchdom

I've been a vegetarian for awhile, around my early twenties I couldn't stand the thoughts of eating carcass but it was way easier to find carcass sandwiches and snacks than meatless alternatives. Then I adopted my first bird, Emmett the cockatiel. After being with this bird for a year or so I started noticing the similarities between her and her cousin the chicken. Well that did it, every time cooked chicken carcass was placed in front of me all I could see was cooked baby Emmett and could no longer eat bird. 

A little while later, on a whim, I went to the website for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (www.peta.org - go there, NOW). After spending a good bit on their site I completely swore off meat. Holy mother what is done to animals in this world (mainly this country) is absolutely horrifying. I tried being completely vegan but failed miserably (I like eggs and cheese) then decided I would go about it the same way I became vegetarian, phases. I phased meat out until that fateful night on PETA's website when I realized I wasn't really eating meat anyway so why not take a stand to never eat it again. Perviously I'd been lazy, I didn't like meat, didn't want meat but if it was all I could get I would eat it. I just altered this a little - if meat is all I could get then I'd go without. As of now that declaration is still standing firm.

Slowly over the last few months I've decided to take another crack at complete veganism, mainly because I've realized I'm probably the fattest vegetarian alive. Whats sad is I really don't knowingly eat a lot of crap, it's the crap being sneaked into my good food that is sabotaging my ass. So, that in mind I took a deep breath and purchased the book "Skinny Bitch" by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. I've heard completely split reviews of the book some love it, some hate it. It's my opinion that the ones who hate it don't want to relinquish their meat and so by hanging on to their meat they hang onto their fat. (Translation: buying this book didn't instantly make them skinny)

Now, I'm almost finished with the book and and I am getting ready to officially start. This week I've decided to give up coffee, my true love. During the first chapter of the book when coffee and caffeine are discussed I felt myself shift and think "kiss my ass! I can't go without coffee" then I felt my self shift again and I thought "if I feel that defensive about my coffee I probably need to cut it loose." So because I'm tired of back-fat ruining my waist I'm going to say good-bye to my biggest addiction. 

So far today, I've had no coffee and a splitting headache. I drank some herbal tea which didn't help then had a caffeine-free coffee flavored soy milk. Which had more calories than my typical morning cup of joe but at least it wasn't the real thing and the flavor was enough to  back the headache off (it was really gooooood) not to mention it was more healthy than the dairy creamer I pour into my cup every morning. Now it's pretty much off to tomorrow where I see if I can get through the day without coffee flavored anything. 

Right now, I am a whopping 200.0 lbs. The biggest I've ever been. I got great skinny legs and a nice ass but all my weight it resting on top of my ass in the form of unsightly back-fat. Not to mention I have HUGE knockers so when I put on a bra it squeezes between rolls and makes more rolls. I wear jackets year round to hide this and I'm done hiding. Thats why I'm here to document and show myself that this back-fat wasn't always there and it won't always be there.  With this in mind and Skinny Bitch backing me up I'm going to bitch-slap my back-fat and take it off one pound at a time. By the time its gone I'll be one healthy mother fucker which is more important than being skinny but it would be nice to not be able to pinch an inch...or four.